Tuesday, April 25, 2006

More Silly English Lads

The previous post reminded me of the Aetherius Society, originally another group of silly English lads and now an international group of silly lads.

This group was founded by one Dr. George King, who was apparently a Shropshire Lad (sorry about that, Al). You may find his biography here at Dr. George King, Our Founder. My favorite tidbit from the bio is this morsel:

In June 1959, guided by Cosmic Authority, Dr. King came to the United States of America where the Aetherius Society was incorporated as a non-profit organization in November 1960.

Over the next two decades he continued to act as Primary Terrestrial Mental Channel, recording over 600 Cosmic Transmissions from the Space Masters. This collection of transmissions constitutes the most priceless metaphysical library in the world, with a range and depth of teachings without equal in the annals of occult Truth.

Like another leader we know, George King heard voices.

Determined to help humanity raise itself from universal suffering and ignorance, his life's mission became apparent on May 8, 1954. Alone in his London apartment, a loud physical voice delivered the following Command:

"Prepare yourself! You are to become the voice of Interplanetary Parliament."

The Aetherians believe that they are in touch with the Cosmic Masters, who seem to come from Venus.
We have walked up to the Pope and said: ‘Dear friend, we come from Venus. We can help you’. Alas, the strong arm of theological tradition fell heavily upon our shoulders. No, dear friends, you are the people. You are the real, the ordinary man, and yet the extraordinary man made extraordinary because you listen – not so much to your mind as to your heart.”

The Master Aetherius, June 30, 1956

They have 19 holy mountains throughout the world,

Dr. George King, acting as a karmic representative of the human race, was needed to physically climb 18 of these 19 mountains. At a point on or near their summit, he entered into an elevated state and an initial Charge was sent through him into the mountain.

In this way, each mountain was charged with spiritual energy by the Cosmic Masters.

Three of these are in the United States:
MOUNT BALDY in Southern California
Charged on August 9, 1959

MOUNT TALLAC in Northern California
Charged on October 21, 1959

MOUNT ADAMS in New Hampshire
Charged on March 15, 1960
By a bit of a coincidence, I have been up two of these - Baldy and Adams. I have been up Adams several times, and I do remember these odd paint marks left by the Aetherians which were dutifully removed by the rangers.

Dr. King directing energy into a prayer energy battery as well as the energy invoked by the Mantra Team.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Silly English Lads

I couldn't resist sharing this little tidbit from The Observer. From my dealings with various English, I've been led to believe that their bachelor parties ("stag parties" in the local parlance - oddly enough, "Stag Party" was Hugh Hefners first choice for the name of the publication that eventually became Playboy) make ours look like Sunday school gatherings. This report removes a good deal of doubt. My favorite part:
Advice given by Bratislava Stags, a firm which organises stag weekend in the city, suggests not all visitors are so respectable. The firm asks clients not to urinate in fountains, pass out in club toilets or throw furniture from hotel windows. It implores: 'Do not poo in any part of the hotel except the toilets.'

More reasons to have sex

Melbourne's newspaper The Age reports that sex will keep you healthy in a number of ways:
  • Sex has been linked, in women, to a heightened emotional awareness.
  • Semen is a mood-enhancing ingredient. (I have been telling this to SWMBO for years).
  • People who have sex once or twice a week have levels of immunoglobulin A (IgA) that are up to a third higher than their more restrained peers.
  • Men who have orgasms twice a week are half as likely to die early as men who orgasm less than once a month.
  • The more frequently men ejaculate, the less likely they are to develop prostate cancer.
  • If middle-aged men have sex twice a week or more they also have a lower risk of heart attack.
Sounds good to me...Here is the whole report.

Friday, April 21, 2006

The Month of the Short Spoons

Gerard Baker has a hilarious (maybe I should say "an hilarious") post in the normally stodgy Times of London. I love the lines
"...[Bush] gently scoops out the detritus of his crushed and mangled Administration in an attempt to retrieve something of value in his remaining two and a half years",
"...the defenestration of the comically hapless Scott McClellan",
"The deeper, unreported truth about the Defence Secretary [Rumsfeld] and the trahison des généraux is that he can’t go because there is no one to replace him. Who in their right mind would want to run a demoralised Pentagon, fighting two messy wars abroad and a seething one at home?"

The Month of Short Spoons will not save George Bush's reputation

WHEN HAROLD Macmillan got rid of six of his Cabinet ministers in 1962, Harold Wilson produced one of his most memorable quips: “The Prime Minister has fired half his Cabinet,” he said. “The wrong half.”

Perhaps mindful of the futility of so many reshuffles on either side of the Atlantic, George Bush is leaving nothing to chance. Instead of a Night of the Long Knives, President Bush is currently in the middle of a Month of the Short Spoons — a long, drawn-out process in which he gently scoops out the detritus of his crushed and mangled Administration in an attempt to retrieve something of value in his remaining two and a half years.

They all look alike

After we had been in Japan for a few days, I asked our son if we Westerners all looked alike.

Greg said that he had been told - on the same day - that he had been told by one colleague or another that he looked like:
(1) Brad Pitt,
(2) Tom Cruise, and
(3) Johhny Depp

And that they probably thought that I was ...

... Sean Connery!

Cheney "reading his notes"

ThinkProgress ran this little piece about the guy who is running the country.

Cheney takes a nap.

“Vice President Dick Cheney gets caught napping yesterday as Defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld and other White House aides leave a press briefing by President Bush and Chinese leader Hu Jintao. The veep’s people later insisted he was reading his notes.”

Thursday, April 20, 2006

An honest Republican

Representative Jo Ann H. Emerson tells it like it is! We know, from the way they act, that Republicans think their voters are assholes. But, until now, we've never seen one come out and say it.

AP says the the lawmaker is "Puzzled by Obscenity in Letter", but you can see for yourself that Rep. Emerson signed the letter herself.

Wonkette says, We Love Jo Ann Emerson. So do we!
Representative Jo Ann H. Emerson (R-MO 8th)
5th-term Republican from Missouri.

Party: Republican
Residence: Cape Girardeau
Marital Status: Married (Ron Gladney)
Prev. Occupation: Association Executive
Prev. Political Exp.: no prior elected office
Education: BA Ohio Wesleyan University, 1972
Birthdate: 09/16/1950
Birthplace: Bethesda, MD
Religion: Presbyterian

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Hey Scotty, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

Democratic Underground has a page devoted to haiku written in farewell to Scott McClellan.

My favorites include

Number 1
Gannon's buddy...
The bigger the cushion
the better the pushin'?
Number 4
fuck you lying sack
of shit on a podium
you should be ashamed
Here is my offering, FWIW,
McClellan leaves and
that asswipe Karl Rove stays.
So this is good news?

Monday, April 17, 2006

Mexican tourist bus plunges off cliff

From ABC News comes this bus plunge:

Mexican tourist bus plunges off cliff, killing 67

April 17, 2006 (VERACRUZ, Mexico) - A vastly overcrowded passenger bus veered off a highway emergency ramp and crashed through a metal barrier Monday, plunging more than 650 feet into a ravine in western Mexico. At least 67 people were killed, including four children.
Four people -- including an 8-year-old girl -- were injured in the wreck that came as the bus traveled on steep mountainous roads. It was returning from a religious gathering in the western city of Guadalajara to the passengers' home state of Tabasco, on the Gulf Coast, following Easter week.

Rescuers ended their search for victims after recovering 63 bodies, State Attorney General official Rosa Elvira Gonzalez said. She said four passengers died at local hospitals.

Officials did not provide the ages of the children killed or say whether the driver was among the dead.

The bus, equipped to hold 46 seated passengers, was carrying 71, some of whom were standing up, said Federal Preventive Police Cmdr. Reinaldo Ascencio Cavazos. He said the owner of the bus was detained for questioning. Ascencio said the passengers belonged to a religious group known as The Light of the World.

Police did not immediately know what caused the crash, but said the driver had been trying to maneuver into a lane designed for vehicles that have brake or other mechanical failure as the bus descended one of the area's many winding roads. The bus fell between 650 and 820 feet before coming to rest at the bottom of a ravine, authorities said.

Federal Preventive Police official Arturo Corona told W Radio the bus was traveling at about 68-70 mph. Buses often are required to limit their speed to 60 mph.

Hundreds of thousands of Mexicans filled the highways Sunday and Monday as they returned from Easter week vacations. The holiday typically sees a large number of highway deaths.

The highway where the bus was traveling is considered to be one of the 15 most dangerous in the country, Corona said.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Who likes Dick?

Wonkette (click here) has a different take on today's Politics Trivia in the WaPo.

Politics Trivia

President Nixon's 1968 presidential campaign slogan was...?

"Nixon's the One."
"I Like Dick."
"All the Way With Dick."
"Nixon Loves America."

What do Fox, WaPo, Duke Lacrosse Team and Bush have in common?

SSquirrel posted this at The News Blog.

It just struck me as strange. Why was Fox News attacking a rape victim? Why was Tucker Carlson on MSNBC? Were they just attacking a black women with no money going against some rich white kid? I figured there had to be a Republican somewhere. Maybe a Bush “Pioneer” or two? So I looked around…
Wow. Holy shitting wow.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

spilling the beans at the White House

Kos has posted a bit of this thread. It may be total fiction, and then again, it may be true. Here are some tidbits:

President Bush uses anti-depressant medication, a lot of it, at a stupendous dosage, and he is hiding it from the American public. This is the real reason he stopped drinking. Because of the dosage, he is also impotent.
Dick Cheney has chronic gum problems and his breath smells like shit as a result. He is also a CLOSE TALKER. He keeps a small bottle of diluted hydrogen peroxide which he rinses with every hour on the hour, and he swallows it instead of spitting. He also picks his nose vigorously (violently) and hums loudly and tunelessly to himself while taking shits.
Donald Rumsfeld needs to wear iced underwear because of some medical condition, and he has his secret service detail hold his spares. He was recently getting uncontrollable long-term erections and had to change up his medical treatments. The underwear and the erections is why he uses a standing desk, not because he is some super-man. He also wears nylon stockings, not because he's gay, but to control some vascular problem with his legs which causes him intense pain.
Tom Ridge carries 20 credit cards with him at all times, each one with a very low limit. I have never heard of him using one, ever, but he has them. He also wears his socks inside-out, and will flip the fuck out and walk strangely if he is forced to wear them properly, because it drives him crazy. All of his socks must be laundered right side in and then turned inside out before they are returned to him. He gave specific instructions about handling his food, and not allowing his vegetables to touch any other food item on the plate.
Despite all of this craziness, there is nothing strange whatsoever about Condoleeza Rice. She is completely balanced and normal, if slightly robotic in her personal demeanor. She smells very nice at all times. She does, however, constantly check her investments online from her office when she thinks that nobody is looking, and she has slept at her desk on multiple occasions.
The strangest thing about Wolfowitz was that he kept 4 pair of identical shoes in his office that he never, ever wore. He had some personal pictures on his shelf that he would violently snap down if he was in a bad mood, especially while on the phone. Also he is a frequent bathroom-user, but given the age of the men involved here, just assume that they all excuse themselves to piss all the goddamn time.
It is a little unfair to be picking on these people because they're all old men, and their bodies are falling apart, but oh well. Rumsfeld lets out really disgusting, wet farts, and then unbelievably denies the act. All staff on hand knows he does it, but nobody calls him on it, because he is Donald Rumsfeld. If he is really concentrating, he also reads letters and reports people write to him out loud in a weird squeaky voice. It sounds like some kind of crazy dramatic reading for a very very boring play.
and much, much, much more... like this
Everyone always takes presidential elections seriously, and anything can happen. I think Kerry actually did win, or at least would have won, but as a result of some stuff done in Ohio I won't go into, he didn't make it. This is one of the things people will go to jail over.

Tom Ridge brushes his teeth like 3 times per day religiously, but he can't stand looking at someone brushing their teeth. He contorts as in agony, as if he is actually experiencing pain. He can't watch himself brush his teeth, and even describing the process of brushing teeth drives him up a wall.

If you joke around near Rumsfeld, he will stare at you intensely as if you just killed his mother for about 10 seconds, which will be unnerving because you think you've offended him, then he will begin to laugh a little bit, a bit more, until he is in hysterics. He has a chest condition called Pleurisy that causes this; breathing deeply is painful to him as is laughing with gusto, so he tries very hard to control himself before losing it. It really unnerves people who are trying to be sociable. This is the reason for his creepy shallow laugh in public.

As for condi sleeping in her office, I'm almost convinced she has narcolepsy. She'll work like crazy, and then BAM she's asleep on her desk for 15 minutes in the middle of the day, utterly insensible to anything, before suddenly jerking back up and animating as if driven by hidden clockwork gears.

Gerald Ford is actually a really really nice guy and I've never met a less picky eater. He will finish for other people, you know, taking their uneaten or half-eaten dishes and just consume them as if it were nothing. You are correct about the frequent bathroom visits. I think he has a nervous bowel.

What is the most outrageous thing I have seen or heard whilst working?

Many things rank up there, but the one that immediately comes to mind is coming upon Wolfowitz in the office, clutching a cellular phone with white knuckles, slamming his set of personal pictures face down on his shelf one by one, each time screaming, "CUNT! CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT!"

[from a correction later in the post] I think Condi will run if Hillary runs, so that there will be a woman/woman catfight. I also think if this happens there will be negative ad campaigns about their respective sexual histories. Did I mention Condi smells really, really, really good?

Everyone always takes presidential elections seriously, and anything can happen. I think Kerry actually did win, or at least would have won, but as a result of some stuff done in Ohio I won't go into, he didn't make it. This is one of the things people will go to jail over.

Because Rove is hot right now I can't say anything about him at all. I can tell you this, however. Scooter Libby wasn't dubbed Scooter by the President. The obnoxious fucker went around and MADE everyone call him Scooter instead of his proper name, and MADE SURE we called him Scooter by CORRECTING US WHENEVER WE CALLED HIM BY HIS TRUE NAME.

One guy actually called him by his true name to someone else in his own office, and Scooter, who was walking by, popped in and CORRECTED HIM and then sped off.

I think it is ridiculous that this guy wanted such a shitty nickname which he got because he rubbed his asshole all over the carpet when moving around as a toddler. Also, and this is just rumor that I have not personally heard from Scooter himself, but he obsessively cultivates the nickname because it makes him appear less threatening to his enemies. What a fucking psycho.

We've speculated that he did that scooting as a toddler because of a throwback mongoloid mental defect that caused him to be unable to balance on his hind feet. The fact that he is inhuman in his mannerisms supports this theory and I endorse it with my full backing.

Also, after a while, we called him Cooter behind his back, because the guy is a complete obnoxious nosy cunt. One of the reasons why he is on the hot seat right now is because he got no love from anyone.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Res Ipsa Loquitur

Smellovision is here!

We presume that the second project will be "Blazing Saddles"

Company to Synchronize Smells to Movie
Published: April 12, 2006

Filed at 12:42 p.m. ET

TOKYO (AP) -- A theater audience in Japan will be sniffing their noses -- literally -- at a new Hollywood adventure film when it opens here later this month.

A new service from a major telecommunications company, NTT Communications Corp., will synchronize seven different smells to parts of ''The New World,'' starring Colin Farrell