"One in six Brit workers drunk at work"

In a study completed prior to this month's festivities in Germany, one-sixth of the British workforce is judged to have been recently drunk at work, the Register reports.

One in six UK workers have partaken of alcohol during working hours, a shock YouGov survey of 1,500 full time employees commissioned by Royal & SunAlliance has revealed.

Or rather, one sixth of the Brit workforce has been "under the influence of alcohol at work in the last six months", while two million wobbly employees have pulled a hangover-induced sickie during the same period.

...

The basic purpose of Alcohol in the Workplace was to gauge the effect on business of 24-hour licensing. While it found that neither employers nor employees thought the problem of workplace leglessness had got worse as a result, it does note an "ongoing cultural problem in Britain".

In related news, coffee has been found to protect the human liver from cirrhosis, and the World Cup is inducing visions of the apocalypse across UK offices:

Fast forward two weeks: business-critical tasks are on indefinite hold because your entire workforce is either drunk, unconcious as a result of excess alcohol, or hospitalised through drink; your network has crashed under the sheer weight of live broadband streams; your sysadmin is powerless to act because he's in the pub, drunk, and your IT system is accordingly exposed to attack by hackers, crackers, phishers, phreakers, phiddlers, pheltchers and other phelonious phu*kwits; your email server is carrying out a denial of service attack against the Kyrgyzstan Interior Ministry website after Russian spammers gained control of it by bot infection via an email masquerading as a free World Cup final ticket offer, which was inadvertently opened by a temp secretary while drunk...

Republicans say the darndest things, or, how about $1000 for a 3 way?

John Aravosis reports in AmericaBlog that

Former Family Research Council lobbyist allegedly offers $1000 for lesbian 3 way
by John in DC - 6/17/2006 01:52:00 PM

"He asked if I made exceptions for men at all, and I was like, 'not for Republicans.'"

"Faith, Family and Freedom" is the religious right group FRC's slogan. Perhaps they should change it to "Faith, Family, Freedom and Fornication."

This story was first picked up by Wonkette, who wrote:

Republican Strategists, Sex, MySpace, and Pride: A Heartwarming DC Tale

It’s getting so that a couple nice young girls can’t drive up to DC for the Pride parade without getting openly propositioned by Republican Strategists who give them their real names and business cards these days...

You can see his business card here.

Previous stories:
* Republicans say the darndest things, or,
who is that bigamist?

* Republicans say the darndest things, or,
Ken Starr's Successor Is Busted for Stalking.

* Republicans say the darndest things, or,
what's new on the Grand Old Police Blotter?

* Republicans say the darndest things, or,
Did Porter Get his Pecker caught In Pokergate?

* An honest Republican

Potty break

The Cleveland Plain Dealer printed a clarification of John Boehner's $2,700 win at the slots.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006
One lucky pit stop

John Boehner's spokesman, Kevin Madden, got back to us on how his boss won $2,700 on a slot machine in Michigan, per our earlier Openers item.

It seems Boehner was driving through Michigan on a political trip "and stopped off to use a bathroom at the particular casino rest stop. While there he played a slot machine that hit a return. This was in August of last year."

We're not making this up. And to think of all the time we've intentionally gone to a casino, sat at the slots for an hour and didn't even take a bathroom break, only to win a few lousy nickels. These guys in Congress have all the luck.

- Stephen Koff

TPM Muckraker has gone one better. They have this photo of the "rest stop".

Paul Kiel, writing in the Muckraker,

Boehner Pees at Casino, Comes Back with $2,700

asks,

So what's Boehner talking about?

Well, on his disclosure form, Boehner reported that he'd won the money in Manistique, Michigan. So I called up the Manistique City Hall and asked, if I wanted to pee and gamble in Manistique, where would I go?

Turns out, I'd only have one option: the Kewadin Casino, which is run by the Sault Ste. Marie Tribe of Chippewa Indians. "Would you call that a rest stop?" I asked. "Well, they have bathrooms in there," replied Rebecca Weber, who works for the city of about 4,000.

Check out the casino yourself.

Bush Pilot

Did you wonder what was the real explanation for the lump under Bush's jacket during the Kerry-Bush "debate"?

This is very good.

02138

Gawker posted this very amusing satire of the new magazine 02138, which touts itself as the Vanity Fair for Harvard alumni/ae.

We hope that the new magazine will have a full feature on the outcome of Larry ("innate differences between men and women might be one reason fewer women succeed in science and math careers") Summers' surgery for extraction of his head from his butt.

More Silly English Lads II

Those Brits are up to their usual frollicking about. The Telegraph reports this story. There are no pictures, but this fine painting of Hypatia by Charles William Mitchell hangs in the Laing Art Gallery, Newcastle-upon-Tyne.

Civil servants 'jumped naked off filing cabinets'
By Paul Stokes
(Filed: 13/06/2006)

Staff at a government agency office have been reported leaping naked from filing cabinets and carrying out stomach-churning pranks.

Civil servants are said to have had sex in the lavatories, taken drugs, used foul language, brawled in the reception area and held break-dancing contests in working hours.

Some of the goings-on at the Rural Payments Agency, a branch of the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, in Lancaster House, Newcastle upon Tyne, are believed to have been captured on CCTV.

One person has already been dismissed and disciplinary proceedings against others are under way.

An investigation was begun after an internal memo was sent to managers by staff sickened by the behaviour.

It stated: "I'm appalled at the level of depravity that is being tolerated at my work place." The authors refer to "sick, shocking and obscene behaviour" and identify specific problems.

They wrote: "We have particular concerns about the activities that have been going on and which have been photographed.

"Although the staff obviously feels it is a great laugh, by anyone's standards in the workplace setting this represents misconduct and may not be allowed to go unchallenged.

"Activities have been captured on official cameras. Specifically 'these activities' refers to leaping from cabinet to cabinet in underwear and believe it or not - but the evidence exists - naked.

"There is an horrific new craze of vomiting into official cups and leaving the cups to fester in cupboards until discovered through the horrendous smell. There is a list of shocking and awful acts in work time including sex in the toilets, drug-taking and swearing is rife" ...

Hurrah for us - we're now screwing up the mesosphere!

We are pumping matter into the mesosphere. We have now succeded in producing so much pollution in the troposphere that, not only is percolating in large quantity up into the stratosphere, it is now climbing up into the mesosphere!




According to NASA, there are

Strange Clouds

Astronauts onboard the International Space Station have been observing electric blue "noctilucent" clouds from Earth-orbit.

STRANGE CLOUDS

On June 10th, another wave of electric-blue noctilucent clouds spread across northern Europe.
"This is my first sighting of these beautiful clouds," says
Alan C. Tough of Elgin, Moray, Scotland. "Well worth the wait!"

Noctilucent clouds (NLCs) are a mystery. They float through the outer reaches of Earth's atmosphere at the very edge of space. Some scientists think the clouds are seeded by space dust and fed by rocket exhaust. Others suspect they're a sign of global warming. Later this year, NASA plans to launch a satellite named AIM to investigate. Want to see them yourself? Look west after sunset for sinuous, blue-glowing ripples in the sky.

The North East Noctilucent Cloud Observers Group gives this explanation of the phenomenon:

Noctilucent Clouds or NLC are visible during the summer months of each hemisphere, mid-May to mid-August in the Northern Hemisphere and mid-November to mid-February in the Southern Hemisphere but only from a specific latitudinal zone. This zone is 50-65° North or South, with 57° being the best latitude to observe NLC from. June and July and December and January are the best months to observe NLC for each respective hemisphere. These zones are a compromise. South of 50° and the sky is too dark, due to the sun being more than 12° below the horizon (astronomical twilight) and north of 65° and the sky is too light as the sun is less than 6° below the horizon (civil twilight). NLC are so optically thin that they scatter less than 1 part in 1000 of light incident upon them. Hence the sky is too bright to observe them during civil twilight. At the end of civil twilight the clouds become visible as sky brightness has decreased by a factor of several hundred. In the specific latitudinal zone the sun stays between 6-12° below the horizon most of the night (nautical twilight). Consequently the sky is dark enough to observe NLC. The low angle of the sun below the horizon also allow the high altitudes at which the NLC reside to be in direct sunlight. Therefore NLC are visible due to reflected sunlight and do not generate any light of their own.

Pekka Parviainen has taken photographs of NLCs for decades.

Here is one of them:

NASA will soon investigate these clouds with the AIM Mission.

Aeronomy of Ice in the Mesosphere

The AIM satellite mission will explore Polar Mesospheric Clouds (PMCs), also called noctilucent clouds, to find out why they form and why they are changing. Results from this mission will provide the basis for study of long-term variability in the mesospheric climate.

SCIENCE GOAL

The overall goal of the Aeronomy of Ice in the Mesosphere (AIM) experiment is to resolve why Polar Mesospheric Clouds (PMCs) form and why they vary. By measuring PMCs and the thermal, chemical and dynamical environment in which they form, we will quantify the connection between these clouds and the meteorology of the polar mesosphere. In the end, this will provide the basis for study of longterm variability in the mesospheric climate and its relationship to global change.

The results of AIM will be a rigorous validation of predictive models that can reliably use past PMC changes and present trends as indicators of global change. This goal will be achieved by measuring PMC abundances, spatial distribution, particle size distributions, gravity wave activity, cosmic dust influx to the atmosphere and precise, vertical profile measurements of temperature, H2O, OH, CH4, O3, CO2, NO, and aerosols. These data can be obtained only by a complement of instruments on an orbiting spacecraft because of the need for global coverage and because extinction and foreground emissions compromise optical sensing from the ground.

NASA Facts: AIM Fact

Beer - Woohoo!

This appeared in the Globe. Here's the citation in Cancer Letters:

Cancer Lett. 2006 Mar 22; [Epub ahead of print]

Xanthohumol, a prenylflavonoid derived from hops induces apoptosis and inhibits NF-kappaB activation in prostate epithelial cells.

Colgate EC, Miranda CL, Stevens JF, Bray TM, Ho E.

Department of Nutrition and Exercise Sciences, Oregon State University, Corvallis, OR, USA.

Beer ingredient may fight prostate cancer

June 12, 2006

CORVALLIS, Ore. --
A main ingredient in beer may help prevent prostate cancer and enlargement, according to a new study. But researchers say don't rush out to stock the refrigerator because the ingredient is present in such small amounts that a person would have to drink more than 17 beers to benefit.

Oregon State University researchers say the compound xanthohumol, found in hops, inhibits a specific protein in the cells along the surface of the prostate gland.

The protein acts like a signal switch that turns on a variety of animal and human cancers, including prostate cancer.

Cancer typically results from uncontrolled cell reproduction and growth. Xanthohumol belongs to a group of plant compounds called flavonoids, which can trigger the programmed cell death that controls growth, researchers say.

Xanthohumol was first discovered in hops in 1913, but its health effects were not known until about 10 years ago, when it was first studied by Fred Stevens, assistant professor of medicinal chemistry at OSU's College of Pharmacy.

Last fall, Stevens published an update on xanthohumol in the journal Phytochemistry that drew international attention.

Stevens says it possible for drug companies to develop pills containing concentrated doses of the flavonoid found in the hops used to brew beer.

He also says researchers could work to increase the xanthohumol content of hops.

There are already a number of food supplements on the market containing hops, and scientists in Germany have developed a beer that contains 10 times the amount of xanthohumol as traditional brews. The drink is being marketed as a healthy beer, but research is still under way to determine if it has any effect against cancer.

The latest Oregon State University research was published in a recent issue of Cancer Letters.

The Utah approach to World Naked Bike Ride

This comes from The Spectrum in Cedar City, published on June 10, 2006, World Naked Bike Ride day.

Woman caught with pants down at Cedar market
By RYAN DIONNE
rdionne@thespectrum.com

CEDAR CITY - Police responded Thursday morning to a report of a woman exposing herself inside Lin's Market Place.

The 28-year-old woman allegedly was in the store with her pants around her ankles and not wearing any underwear.

At first she was riding a motorized cart, so other customers didn't notice anything unusual. But occasionally, when standing, she would bend over to look at items on the shelf, allegedly exposing her buttocks.

The woman reportedly told police she arrived in Cedar City with the circus but was left behind. She was cited for lewdness.

World Naked Bike Ride

Today is World Naked Bike Ride. 76 Cities in the Northern Hemisphere, including Portland and Eugene. But The Telegraph reports that Brighton is being stubborn.

Naked cyclists forced to cover up
(Filed: 10/06/2006)

Naked cyclists taking part in a global one-day protest against the supremacy of the car have been forced to cover up in Brighton for fear of arrest.

World Naked Bike Ride day is being celebrated in London, Manchester, York and Brighton to promote sustainable transport...

Nick Sayers, Brighton & Hove co-ordinator for the event, said: "The threat of arrest is bizarre. Like neighbouring London, Brighton is supposed to be a cosmopolitan, forward-thinking city.

"However, it seems the attitude of the authorities here is still that of a provincial, prudish backwater..."

Bus plunge !

From the Irish Independent:

54 people dead after bus plunges off bridge in Tanzania

16:56 Friday June 9th 2006
A bus has plunged off a bridge in Tanzania killing fifty-four people.

Local police in the African country say the bus was overloaded, but it's unclear what caused the tragedy.

Previously:
Mexican tourist bus plunges off cliff
Bus Plunge

Owens Corning settles lawsuits

From the bOregonian. I love the last line, quoting Mark Riskedahl, the executive director of the Northwest Environmental Defense Center:

"This is a big, multinational company, and they should have known better."

See the Owens Corning web page at NEDC for more information.

School, groups benefit in Owens deal
Insulation - Rather than face federal fines, the company will spend on classrooms and renewable energy
Friday, June 09, 2006
MICHAEL MILSTEIN
The Oregonian

Portland Public Schools and alternative energy groups came out the unlikely winners Thursday after Owens Corning officially abandoned its attempt to use an ozone-damaging greenhouse gas at an insulation plant in Gresham.

The company faced possible fines after conservation groups filed a lawsuit accusing it of starting construction of the plant without a permit. Instead of fighting the case and risking the fines, the company settled with the groups by agreeing to spend $300,000 on a low-energy classroom at Portland's da Vinci Arts Middle School and other renewable energy initiatives.

The groups see the contributions as a positive outcome because they provide local benefits, while fines would have gone to the federal treasury, said Mark Riskedahl of the Northwest Environmental Defense Center.

"It's sort of a win-win for everybody," he said.

Ohio-based Owens Corning also agreed never to manufacture insulation in Oregon using the controversial gas HCFC-142b or others known to damage Earth's protective ozone layer ...

Homeland security T-shirt

I need this t shirt (designed by Colleen Lloyd). West Wind World has them.

6/6/6

There is no Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia in Shanghai.

Here's more from Wikipedia:

Prominent hexakosioihexekontahexaphobes include the late Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan. In 1989, when they moved to the former president's final home in the Bel-Air section of Los Angeles, they had the address of 666 St. Cloud Road changed to 668.

The late Johnny Carson was probably not hexakosioihexekontahexaphobic because this address had earlier been his home.

The Icelandic Phallological Museum

The Icelandic Phallological Museum in Husavik, Iceland is the only museum of its kind. It is entirely devoted to the study of the penis.

There is a modest (so to speak) collection of online images, as well as information about the museum's hours ( send e-mail to phallus@mh.is ). In addition, the museum catalogue is available online.

The museum also maintains a list of "honorary members". These outstanding contributors fall (rise?) into four categories:


Fjöldi gildra heiðurslima : 92 Total Number of Honorary Members

F =	FHL =	Full-Gildir Heiðurslimir	- Donors of genuine, phallic pieces
A =	AHL =	All-Gildir Heiðurslimir	- Donors of extra things, a work of art, etc. and other true benefactors of the Institute
G =	GGL =	Gildir Gervilimir	- Pseudomember, having shown special interest in the works and development of the Institute
Ó =	ÓGL =	Ógildir Limir	- Expelled members

Take note of the categories "Pseudomember" and "Expelled member", neither of which sounds personally appealing.

As if there weren't enough doctor jokes...

Discovered in the comments over at The Washington Note (one of the finer inside-DC blogs around, if you're not familiar with it):

So theres three doctors enjoying a toddy or two at the local dive.....

The first doctor, wanting to toot his own horn, pipes up.......

"Hey, I got a note from an ex-patient of mine yesterday. Poor bloke, ran his hand through a tablesaw at work a few years ago. Wacked off all five digits on his right hand. In surgery forty two hours, but we got it put back together. I'll be damned if he isn't a concert violist now".

Not to be outdone, the second doctor immediately chimes in......

"Well, I had a patient a couple years back, a gawdawful motorcycle wreck it was. Guy lost his right arm, and broke his leg in fifteen different spots. It was a damned tedious surgery, but my team managed to get it right, and the guy is now playing on the pro-tennis circuit."

Snorting, the third doctor jumps in with distain.........

"Child's play. Hell, in my rural practice we perform such miracles durned near daily. My most memorable surgery, however, was some God damned idiot that tried to ride his horse acrost a train trestle. Christ, all the ambulance brought us was a barely breathing torso and a garbage can full of parts....hell, there was even a cowboy hat and a horse's ass in the mix. But hey, we put the ignorant hick back together, pulled him through, and I'll be a son of a bitch if he didn't actually become the President of the United States."

Dubya in the doghouse?

We here at the Onymous Guy are proud to follow in the footsteps of the Grey Lady herself, delivering the latest in salacious gossip regarding our elected leaders. From Daily Kos and Randi Rhodes:

At the same time Dumbya is touting the Marriage Protection Amendment, it's being reported that Pickles is/has been staying at a Washington, DC hotel after a confrontation with her husband over his ongoing affair with Condoleeza Rice. Yep, you (might have) heard it here first. I'd be laughing my ass off if I wasn't desperately trying not to hurl my breakfast at the bare (no pun intended) thought of the two of them doing the horizontal cha-cha. I mean, really -- at least Monica was young and had good teeth, and at least Bill didn't look like a chimpanzee.

Generic name for a drug

This may have been around for a while, but I must have missed it. A friend in the Willamette Valley sent it to me.

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Republicans say the darndest things, or, who is that bigamist?

The San Diego Union Tribune has this item

2006 VOTE: U.S. CONGRESS
Documents show issues with wives, child support

By Caitlin Rother
STAFF WRITER

June 2, 2006

Republican Jim Galley, who is running for Congress as a “pro-traditional family” candidate, was married to two women at the same time, defaulted on his child support payments and has been accused of abuse by one of his ex-wives.