Danish ad makes road safety sexy

The BBC reports this story

Danish ad makes road safety sexy

Danish road safety officials have come up with a novel way of warning motorists about the dangers of speeding - by using topless blonde women.

They have produced a spoof news report where the blondes carry road signs showing the Danish speed limit: 50km/h.

The video - posted on the web - is aimed at grabbing the attention of young male drivers, but feminists say they hate it.

Speeding has been blamed for 25% of road deaths in Denmark.

Julia Pauli of the Danish road safety council told the BBC that the reaction to the Speedbandits video had been mostly positive.

"If you want to reach the young people, you have to communicate on their conditions... So, topless women are working," she said.

She said the advertising campaign had been tested and in the target group it was really positive - more than 50% said they were thinking more about the dangers of speeding when driving.

Asked if the council would consider using a man exposing his bottom to appeal to speeding women drivers, Ms Pauli said: "Maybe. We'll see."

Yo may see the NSFW video here at Salon Magazine.

Great gift ideas from abroad - the Japanese version II

Of course, the perfect gift would be a stay at the Hello Kitty Bondage Room in the Adonis Love Hotel. The room has an entertainment center with porn, karaoke, and an in-room dildo vending machine.

ADONIS Love Hotel (from quirkyjapan)

Adonis specializes in S&M rooms and cute cartoon characters. Maybe it was inevitable that the two would be combined to make the ““HELLO KITTY SM ROOM”. There's even a Kitty-chan plush doll wearing a ball gag, blind fold, and barbed wire garter belts that will give you nightmares for years. Adonis also has a room with glow in the dark jelly fish, a prison cell, a high school classroom and some really scary S&M rooms.

Adonis is set off from the other hotels in the Ikutamatera-machi area and is closer to Uehonmachi station, due North of the station and the Miyako hotel on the other side of Sennichimae Street..
Address: Osaka, Tennoji-ku, 5-5-15, Tel. (06) 6761-0168

The toilet seat kitty is from this set at Flickr. (1 image NSFW, the rest are).

See more at Fleshbot (probably NSFW).

Great gift ideas from abroad - the Japanese version

From J-List comes this clever gift, just perfect for that shithead you work with.

Out of stock, but more are coming in soon -- order now!
MAR028 Unchi *Poop* Hat
This item can be ordered. Weight: 100 g. Price: $22.00

The Japanese aren't shy about bodily secretions and have a sense of humor about them unparalleled. And with their ability to make anything cute and cuddly, they have made even poo an irresistible fashion trend. This joke poo hat has the unmistakable color and shape of dung. With a black elastic strap to keep it firmly on your head, this plush poop is 5.5" wide at the base and 4" high. A fun party item or just wear it to make everyone around you think you've gone crazy. A hilarious item that is made in Japan... where else?

Chemistry is fun!

Blowing up alkali metals can be very entertaining. Our beer:30 friends sent us this link.

I have been contacted by a Seer!

Judge Florentino V. Floro, Jr. has responded to my post, Let's see. There's Sleepy, Sneezy, Armand, Luis, Dopey, Angel... Who am I Missing?

Have a look-c.

Does Morano rhyme with moron?

Who is Marc Morano? I heard this inflated rectum a couple of weeks ago on the local Thom Hartmann Show.

Richard Littlemore calls Marc Morano "the outspoken aid to Oklahoma Senator and Environment Committee Chair Jim Inhofe".

Greenblogger has this report:

Inhofe's Flack Gets Shouted Down at Climate Change Conference

I had mentioned a couple of days ago that one of the significant results from last week’s Congressional election in the US was that Barbara Boxer will be replacing James Inhofe as the chair of the major Senate environmental committee.

One of the likely casualties of this transition will be Mark Morano, the Committee’s current spokesman. He cut his teeth working as a producer for the right-wing talk show host, Rush Limbaugh, before being appointed as Inhofe’s propagandist. In this latter role, he has focused his time on manufacturing non-existent “controversy” over the existence of anthropogenic factors in climate change.

It seems that he is not willing to go down quietly in anticipation of the partisan swing in the Senate. Earlier today, Morano attended the UN Climate Change Conference in Nairobi as a participant on a panel convened by the Oslo-based Center for International Climate and Environmental Research on “Communicating Climate Change.” Morano apparently shilled his “climate change skepticism” line and was roundly dismissed by fellow panelists and audience members.

Luckily Morano will be likely be off the government payroll–or at least his position will be diminished–come January.Â

And here is an excerpt from on op-ed piece in today's Boston Globe, written by Daniel P. Schrag, professor of earth and planetary sciences at Harvard and director of the Harvard University Center for the Environment":

On a swift boat to a warmer world
By Daniel P. Schrag | December 17, 2006

...I later learned that Inhofe's communications director, Marc Morano, was a key figure in publicizing the swift boat veterans' attack on John Kerry in 2004. Morano, it seems, is still up to his old tricks, twisting the facts to support his boss's outrageous claims. This made my visit complete: a glimpse at our government that sees the world only through glasses tinted by special interests, which treats science as a political football, no matter what is at stake.

Who is Marc Morano? Yes, he is a Reichwinging tool. You may find the entire op-ed piece here.

Headline of the year

What would you write as a lead to a story involving over a story involving these elements?
* oral sex,
* ejaculation,
* and departure

Our favorite headline of the year goes to ... (insert drumroll here) ....



Radar Magazine, for its headline.

Here is the winning banner:



Men's Health-er
Eats, Shoots, and Leaves

David Zinczenko spends so much time on television plugging Men's Health, it sometimes seems he's less an editor in chief than a cliché-spouting celebrity spokesmodel. So if Zinczenko appeared to to be a teensy bit ill-at-ease during an appearance on Fox News yesterday, chances are it wasn't the camera, but the strange sensation of sharing a screen with someone who has experienced, and written about, his oral sex technique. Awkward! ...

Here's the rest.

An Army Captain's plan for Anbar

Dave Johnson at Seeing The Forest For the Trees posted this story pulled from ABC News:

Army Captain's Simple Demonstration: How to Win in Iraq
By MARTHA RADDATZ

Dec. 15, 2006 — - President Bush has spent the last few weeks engaged in complex briefings with senior military officers, State Department officials and outside experts as he tries to come up with a new plan to achieve victory in Iraq.

Watch "World News with Charles Gibson" tonight at 6:30 p.m. ET for more on this story.

But a young captain serving in Iraq's violent Al Anbar Province has offered a simple explanation of what the problem was in Iraq and how to solve it. Among his observations is the importance of having a moustache in Iraq.

In a military known for its sleep-inducing, graphically dizzying PowerPoint presentations, the young captain's presentation, which has been unofficially circulating through the ranks, stands out. Using stick figures and simple language, it articulates the same goal as the president's in Iraq.

You can find the entire powerpoint presentation here at ABC News.

The reporter, Martha Raddatz, finishes with this bitter irony.

The creator of this PowerPoint presentation, "How to Win in Al Anbar," was Capt. Travis Patriquin.

But Patriquin will not see victory in Iraq. He was killed by the same improvised explosive device that killed Maj. Megan McClung of the Marine Corps last Wednesday.

Patriquin had fought in Afghanistan and Iraq. A gifted officer, he spoke numerous languages, including Arabic.

"How to Win in Al Anbar" may not make it to the desk of the president, but maybe it should.

Letterman: "Dick Cheney: That's Funny"

A new series started on Dave Letterman: "Dick Cheney: That's Funny".

NSFW Woman gives birth to a rabbit

I would be happy with the hat, but it would take some time for me to decide.

The Ague of Consent

I gave an ACS standardized exam in Quantum Chemistry (1995 version) as a final today. Two of my students scored better than any other student in the last ten years.

Be happy for me. Rejoice for them! So now enjoy this! (SFW, IMHO).

Sexual Consent

P.S. I am all for this...

...and opposed to this.

NSFW: Political role playing

I picked this up at Sal Peralta's blog.

Couple roleplays the political way

Jon Stewart and Lincoln Chafee, Part II

Lincoln Chafee describes what went right in the Senate.

Jon Stewart and Lincoln Chafee, Part I

Lincoln Chafee enumerates the entire list of moderate Republicans in the Senate.

NSFW: Submissive Jesus

Don't Get Cross. Take Action With...
The Submissive Jesus^tm Talking Prayer Answering Head
There are not enough words to describe this product or the site where I got this video.

The YouTube version is here.

The second commercial is here.

This commercial is definitely NSFW. The second commercial is SFW, but is still in bad taste. Enjoy them both!

A Holiday Treat

Go here and play with the snow globe. Make sure that you have your sound turned on.

Putting the X back in Xmas

A colleague has passed along this vital story from The Mirror ("The Best Newspaper on the Web")

12 December 2006
THE X-RATED XMAS TREE
Al's proud 10ft conifer upsets the neighbours
By Jake Morris

JOKER Alan Parkin put the willies up his neighbours - with this naughty 10ft Christmas tree.

Not content with adding just a couple of baubles, Alan, 47, decorated the fir with red and white fairy lights outside his home in aptly named Penistone.

But his jolly green giant didn't exactly excite fellow residents and they complained to police. Proof, perhaps, that size isn't everything.

One said: "It's rather rude. There are children and teenagers about and I don't think it's good for them to see." Another fumed: "It's just obscene. We shouldn't have to put up with it."

Although officers who visited his South Yorkshire home merely asked him to remove the lights, the jobless prankster has agreed to go all the way - and give the tree the snip.

Married Alan said: "It was just a laugh. If it offended anybody, then the shape will be altered.

"I was amazed when police called around. They said they had received a complaint and would I mind removing the lights so it didn't look offensive."

But not all neighbours were outraged. Constance Barnard, a widow in her 60s, said: "It doesn't bother me.

"I didn't know we had anyone around here so pious as to complain to police. I'm a churchgoer but I don't think about it. I'm a live-and-let-live lady."

Mind you, even she wasn't that impressed with Alan's idea of a Christmas lunchbox. Constance said: "It looks more like a mushroom."

Yes, there is a Penistone, England.



















There is also a Wanker's Corner, Oregon.

Run By Farting

Allegedly, a reporter is interrupted by a man that runs by and farts. But I am pretty sure that the fart was dubbed in later. Nonetheless, it fits in with the "Flatulence forces jet to land" story.

De mortuis nil nisi bonum? Not for Jeane Kirkpatrick

Good riddance to Jeane Kirkpatrick, the Wicked Witch of the Reich. May the rest of her ilk follow her to the grave quickly. She and her neoconservative cohorts have wreaked decades of harm on this planet.

This image was found at scooterlibby.org. Yes, THAT Scooter.

Just so we don't forget, let's take a look at the record of these monsters in Central America. NPR CHECK , in the post "Kirkpatrick Through a Kristol Ball", pointed to this archive in the National Catholic Reporter, that notorious ultra-left wing paper. Here is an excerpt:

The outrage in the United States over President Carter’s decision to approve military aid to El Salvador included criticism from U.S. bishops, legislators and scores of religious and human rights organizations. The NCCB president, Archbishop John R. Quinn of San Francisco, said the move “enhances the possibility of more violence from security forces, and [it] associates the United States with acts of oppression that can only alienate the majority of people in El Salvador.” The charge was reduced to its simplest terms when Americans in San Salvador picketed the U.S. Embassy, declaring that “U.S. guns kill U.S. nuns.” Ten Salvadoran Catholic agencies published a statement that supported the “right of legitimate insurrection” as a “last means to obtain justice and peace” in the country.

Conservative political and religious elements in the United States were quick to counterattack. The Reagan nominee for the State Department’s human rights bureau, Ernest Lefever, said the nuns “used religion as a garb for cloaking political activity” and “hiding guns for the insurgents,” a statement he later refuted; Jeane Kirkpatrick, U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, said, “The nuns were not just nuns, they were political activists, and we should be very clear about that.”[onymous guy: emphasis mine] The smear campaign against the Catholic church and U.S. religious in general, and the Maryknollers and Jesuits in particular, began early and was sustained.

Typical of the drumbeat being picked up in nongovernmental right-wing circles, the Council for Inter-American Security in a March press release fudged the issues in a manner that would be repeated in the years ahead. The council was a privately funded advocacy group that supported Reagan’s foreign policy. CIS said the religious women “may have been working with left-wing guerrillas to overthrow the government.” The council offered no proof for the charge except that “all but one of the murdered women were members of the Maryknoll Society, which has earned a reputation for championing radical politics and liberation theology.” Next, came the guilt by association: “Two of the nuns were killed when returning from Nicaragua, where another member of the Maryknoll Society, Sandinista Miguel D’Escoto, is foreign minister. It is unknown what the women were doing in Nicaragua at a time when vast quantities of arms were being sent through Nicaragua to the guerrillas in El Salvador.” (The activities of the women were not unknown. Two of them, Srs. Maura Clarke and Ita Ford had been at the sisters’ regional assembly in Managua.)

CIS continued that “the families of three of the women recently signed an ad in The New York Times soliciting contributions to the Committee in Solidarity with the People of El Salvador, a group that supports a takeover by pro-Castro guerrillas.” Everyone had been tarred.

The State Department chose to see no evil. On March 24, Secretary of State Alexander Haig explained the churchwomen’s deaths to Congress as an accident caused by nervous soldiers who “misread the mere traveling down the road (of the nuns’ van) as an effort to run a roadblock.” Nonetheless, the U.S. Embassy in San Salvador was well ahead of the Salvadoran junta in investigating who had killed the American women.

It is so clear in hindsight that the Reagan administration was up to its eyeballs in the coverup of CIA involvement in the murder of Archbishop Romero. Its support of neofascist violence in Central America became the template for the current adminstration's foreign policy. Jeane Kirkpatrick was one of the first reichwingers. We are better off without her. Read the rest and weep.

Qui est coupe le fromage?

Microbe World has the poop on barking spiders, air biscuits, and "Aeolian crepitation":

The Microbiology of Belches and Farts

Alright, let’s face it: animals—and people—pass gas, either by belching or farting. But some are more gassy than others. Cows, for example, give out so much methane gas that some suspect them as one cause of global warming. Ever wonder why this might be?

Well, this science column offers some insights...

Most animals, birds, fish and insects pass gas. The average person passes gas about 10 to 15 times a day (some just do it more quietly than others).

One side note: methane is an odorless gas. The odors that sometimes result when people or animals belch or fart are caused by other compounds made during the digestion process. So don't blame the methane.

The Australian Broadcasting Corporation reports in its "News in Science"

Flatulent whales caught in the act
Discovery News

Thursday, 28 August 2003

Scientists have photographed a giant gas bubble emanating from a whale, suggesting that flatulence is just as common for ocean mammals as it is for humans and many other terrestrial animals.

The picture, released last week by scientists from the Australian Antarctic Division (AAD) in Tasmania, was taken by the captain of a U.S. research ship the Nathaniel B. Palmer, while on expedition between Marguerite Bay and Palmer Station, Antarctica.

"The picture is of an Antarctic minke whale taken from the bow of a ship," said AAD principal research scientist Dr Nick Gales. "The white bits in the photo are pieces of ice-floe, the stream of pinky colour behind the whale is a faecal plume - a.k.a. "poo" - the large circle in the water is indeed the physical eruption of the whale's flatulence."

Read the rest here.

The Tennessean: Flatulence forces plane to land

The Tennessean ("Middle Tennessee's #1 Online News Source") reports

Tuesday, 12/05/06
Flatulence, not turbulence, forces plane to land
Passenger lighted matches to hide odor

By SAMUEL SHU
For The Tennessean

Flatulence brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an unscheduled visit to Nashville early Monday morning.

American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.

The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.

The passengers and five crew members were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane.

"American has banned her for a long time," Lowrance said.

She was not charged but could have been. While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane, Lowrance said.

This passenger obviously forgot the dictum of the physician to Claudius: "He who retains his wind for the benefit of his neighbor is a fool."

My Pretty Pony or Porn Star

Here is another online game:

You will be given a list of twelve names, each of which is the name of either
* a "My Pretty Pony"
* or a porn star.

I scored 6/12.

Orgasm or Marinara?

Try this online quiz.

Fifteen images of the mouth of either
* a porn star in medias res
* a foodie
I scored a pathetic 6/15.

"My Half-Year of Hell With Christian Fundamentalists"

Der Spiegel reports this story:

When Polish student Michael Gromek, 19, went to America on a student exchange, he found himself trapped in a host family of Christian fundamentalists. What followed was a six-month hell of dawn church visits and sex education talks as his new family tried to banish the devil from his soul. Here's his story.

I read the poor fellows account with a great deal of sympathy, since throughout my entire youth I was bombarded daily with ultra-conservative Catholicism - the Philadelphia Irish Catholic variety, which included saying the rosary while climbing the stairs on our knees one decade at a time, emergency confessions (usually because of "impure thoughts"), and frequent dinnertime lectures on the evils of sex and abortion.

Well, Michael, fuck the fucking fuckers.

Read the rest of Michael's sad tale here.

George FWill: Pompous Poseur and a Liar

Was Jim Webb insolent? Mr. FWill would have you think so:

Already Too Busy for Civility

By George F. Will
Thursday, November 30, 2006; Page A23

That was certainly swift. Washington has a way of quickly acculturating people, especially those who are most susceptible to derangement by the derivative dignity of office. But Jim Webb, Democratic senator-elect from Virginia, has become a pompous poseur and an abuser of the English language before actually becoming a senator....

The Carpetbagger ("Reality-Based Commentary, Analysis, and Tirades on Politics in America") reports Greg Sargent found that that this was all in Mr. FWill's head:

And if Will were right about the Webb/Bush exchange, he might have a point. If all you read was Will’s column, you might think Bush was being civil.

Except Will left out the part of the exchange that didn’t suit his purposes. (Onymous Guy: emphasis mine) As the Post article Will cites but misquotes explained, after Webb said he wanted to bring his son home from Iraq, Bush actually said, “That’s not what I asked you.” It was this response that was at the heart of the confrontation, and Will managed to convey the exchange as if it hadn’t been said at all. For that matter, Webb used the words “Mr. President” twice during the chat with Bush, and Will managed to omit both references.

As Greg Sargent put it, “This is one of the rankest displays of journalistic dishonesty I’ve seen in some time…. [I]t’s quite clear his distortions were entirely deliberate.”

Greg Sargent analyzes the whole mess. Here is FWill's report of the exchange between Webb and Bush:

When Bush asked Webb, whose son is a Marine in Iraq, "How's your boy?"

Webb replied, "I'd like to get them [sic] out of Iraq."

When the president again asked "How's your boy?",

Webb replied, "That's between me and my boy."

And here is the WaPo report the day before:

"How's your boy?" Bush asked, referring to Webb's son, a Marine serving in Iraq.

"I'd like to get them out of Iraq, Mr. President," Webb responded, echoing a campaign theme.

"That's not what I asked you," Bush said. "How's your boy?"

"That's between me and my boy, Mr. President," Webb said coldly, ending the conversation on the State Floor of the East Wing of the White House.

Here is a little more of Greg Sargent:

See what happened? Will omitted the pissy retort from the President that provoked Webb. Will cut out the line from the President where he said: "That's not what I asked you." In Will's recounting, that instead became a sign of Bush's parental solicitiousness: "The president again asked `How's your boy?'"

Read Carpetbagger's whole scoop here and Greg Sargent's post here.

Postscript: hcc in va has this addendum in DailyKos

Well, tonight I attended a party honoring volunteers in the Hunter Mill District of Fairfax County, VA who had helped - in a very big way - to bring about Webb's upset victory and thus garner control of the Senate. I had the opportunity to chat with Congressman Jim Moran (D-Va 8th district) in private before he publicly addressed the group. I recounted how proud I was of Webb's actions in front of Bush, and recounted the speculation on whether Bush could possibly have known about the incident with Webb's son. He said, without hesitation:

"Not only did Bush know about it, he was specifically briefed on the incident before meeting with Webb, and was cautioned to be extra sensitive in speaking with Webb about his son."

Just to make sure, I said: "Wow, I guess not too many people know about this," and he said: "That's right they don't, but I know it's true, and there are lots of things people don't know about that would surprise them"

New Products We Can Live Without - The German Version

The LA Fish Wrap reports this intriguing story:

German sex educators plan spray-on condom
From Reuters

10:44 AM PST, November 30, 2006

BERLIN — German sex educators plan to launch a spray-on condom tailor-made for all sizes.

Jan Vinzenz Krause from the Institute for Condom Consultancy, a Singen-based practice that offers advice on condom use, told Reuters today the product aimed to help people enjoy better and safer sex lives.

"We're trying to develop the perfect condom for men that's suited to every size of penis," he said. "We're very serious."

The developers' web site provides more technical information.




Revolutionäre Verhütung: Das Kondom aus der Dose
Die Innvoation auf dem Kondommarkt: Das Kondom aus der Dose
Bald gibt es keinen Grund mehr dafür, es lieber ohne zu machen. Das neue Kondom kommt aus der Sprühdose und passt sich jedem Glied optimal an. Kappe ab und Kondom über den Penis sprühen: Die Latexhaut sitzt perfekt und ist in wenigen Sekunden einsatzbereit.

The spray-on condom comes in several brightly colored containers, sure to appeal to a lady's eye, with the "condom tip" logo subtly placed on the side.

Plunge that!

You now of our ongoing interest in things that plunge.

The LA Fish Wrap asks

What is the bus-plunge story?

And, just in case you missed it, the Fish Wrap of Record exercised a great deal of restraint in reporting this bus plunge.

Tales from Academia

Inside HigherEd reports this story:

A former student at the Art Institute of Portland, in Oregon, says that he was suspended and then expelled, in a series of events that started when he questioned another student’s belief in leprechauns and she complained about his questions, The Portland Mercury reported. Institute officials denied that anyone could be expelled for questioning another’s belief in leprechauns and suggested that other issues were involved.

The Portland Mercury story was not as interesting as this blurbette.

More Toilet Stories

The Columbia Basin Herald reports:

Golfers teed off about toilets
By David Cole
Herald staff writer

SOAP LAKE -- Rick Froebe erected a backyard "fence." It's not a white-picket fence.

Instead, it's made of seven old toilets, a few used bathtubs and some broken down water heaters.

He said it's to "keep the golfers out" of his yard.

Froebe's home, 832 Canterbury Road, is nestled along Lakeview Golf & Country Club near Soap Lake. He watches closely from his back porch as golfers negotiate the green of the 354-yard, par-4 first hole.

"Choice real estate in Grant County," said Froebe, co-owner of Coulee Dam/Ephrata Plumbing.

On Monday, three scarecrow-like dummies sat on toilets and looked on as golfers finished their putts. The old commodes, bathtubs and water heaters first appeared on Halloween. The dummies came down for a few days, now they're back.

Froebe, who's owned the home for the previous 15 years, already had a backyard fence in place -- the chain-link version. He claims it's not enough to keep golfers and neighborhood cats from getting his dogs all riled up.

Froebe contends the dogs get excited enough to start barking as players drive their golf carts near the green, search for their balls, chat, chip and putt. Neighbors began complaining about the barking.

Gerald Coulter, representing the country club's nine-member board of directors, called the situation "completely ridiculous." That's the consensus of the board, Coulter said, following last week's meeting.

"I've had several people call that were upset with (the 'fence'). It's an eyesore," Coulter said. "I'm surprised the health department hasn't been out there because of the used toilets and water tanks. It's not a sanitary condition."

Coulter, of Soap Lake, said Froebe is most likely trying to "alienate neighbors."

In the process, Froebe may also be attempting to upset members of the country club, he said.

A squabble Froebe had with course officials resulted in the 52-year-old plumber severing his membership in May. Froebe, as a member, complained that his plumbing-business partner had to pay to play. Froebe said the policy is unfair.

"I wouldn't recommend them," he said of the course and country club. "I wouldn't say anything bad. But you definitely have to go by their rules."

Meanwhile, the barking of Froebe's four dogs continued to be a nuisance to the neighbors. They repeatedly complained to the Grant County Sheriff's Office.

Froebe was warned by law enforcement officials at least three times, said Larry Ledeboer, the sheriff's animal control officer. Froebe was advised to take preventive measures and buy "bark collars," the officer said.

"The sheriff's office doesn't write a lot of barking infractions," Ledeboer said. The sheriff's office issues about 15-20 barking infractions per year. "We give warnings and try to work with people."

Froebe's dogs kept barking and the neighbors continued to complain.

To date, Froebe has received three barking infractions. A first-offense barking infraction is $47 per dog, Ledeboer said. The second offense is $95. A third offense is $190, he said.

Froebe said he recently went to Big 5 Sporting Goods and bought barking collars.

He insists the "fence" is not a sign of animosity towards his neighbors.

"If they would've come to me first that would have been one thing," Froebe said. He claims the situation could've been handled cooperatively. "But they went directly to the sheriff."

His dogs present another problem. According to the county's ordinance, he can't have four dogs on less than five acres of property.

When asked about the golf course, he insists hard feelings don't exist.

"The fence," he said, "It's plumber art."

Besides, he added, "It's not like this is Pebble Beach. This is Lakeview."

New Products We Can Live Without

The Great John Toilet Company reports a breakthrough in toilet engineering:

...GJTC engineers, medical doctors and artists took to the task of creating a NEW GENERATION of products satisfying the needs of today’s customers. Our goal was to create the most comfortable and safe toilet for Large-Size people in the market. The other challenge was to make a toilet that could also be used by any size person. The final result was the creation of a "SIZE FRIENDLY TOILET"..

Thanksgiving II - only two more years of this idiot

Come Again?

Of course, by now you have probably heard of The Global Orgasm for Peace. The Bay Area Fish-Wrap, with its typical keen ear for important news, reported this story ahead of the pack(1,400,00o hits as of 23 Nov 2006).



Anti-war couple conceive new way to generate peace

- Joe Garofoli, Chronicle Staff Writer
Sunday, November 19, 2006

Living on their houseboat off the Marin County coast, anti-war activists Donna Sheehan and her partner, Paul Reffel, concocted a way for the world to communally create a lot of peaceful vibes.

They want everyone to have an orgasm on the same day.

On Dec. 22, they're asking the world to contribute to the Global Orgasm for Peace. Sheehan said not to worry if you don't have a partner.

Busy multitaskers shouldn't despair about trying to cram this global activism into their busy schedules, either, she said. Take any time during the 24-hour period at the beginning of the winter solstice to join the demonstration. Just make sure to think of peace before or after participating.

Once you've committed, there's even a secret sign to show others that you plan to take part: Flash the universal "OK" sign and wink. Or, as it has been redubbed, "The O" sign...

This is a bit unfortunate. This sign means "you're an asshole" in most of Europe.



Here is GOFP's description of the event.

The Event

WHO? All Men and Women, you and everyone
you know.

WHERE? Everywhere in the world, but especially in countries with weapons of mass destruction.

WHEN?
Winter Solstice Day - Friday, December 22nd,
at the time of your choosing, in the place of your choosing and with as much privacy as you choose.

WHY? To effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy a Synchronized Global Orgasm. There are two more US fleets heading for the Persian Gulf with anti-submarine equipment that can only be for use against Iran, so the time to change Earth’s energy is NOW!

Be sure to practice a lot before then!

Nothing Says Thanksgiving like "Macaca"

The House is decidely Blue, and would have been bluer had not the GrandOldPoliceblotter thieves been at work with electronic voting. But it is blue enough.

The Senate is Blue for now and will be even bluer after 2008.

And we could not have done this with the help of The Mysterious Macaca himself.

I imagine that Macaca has drunk himself into a deep stupor.

This is a collapse of operatic magnitude.

Just imagine, a year ago, The Mysterious Macaca was up 31 points over Webb in the Rasmussen poll, was named a front-runner for the Grand Old Policeblotter's presidential nomination, and had only the brightest of futures behind him.

Election 2006
Virginia Senator
George Allen (R) 57%
Webb (D) 26%
Other 7%
RasmussenReports.com (December 7, 2005)

Now it is clear that he had a "colorful" past as well:

Allegations of Allen's use of racial slur in college

On September 24, 2006, Salon.com Washington correspondent Michael Scherer reported that the magazine had interviewed nineteen of his teammates and that "[t]hree former college football teammates of Sen. George Allen say that the Virginia Republican repeatedly used the racial epithet 'nigger' and demonstrated racist attitudes toward blacks during the early 1970s."One of Allen's classmates who made such a claim is University of Virginia political science professor Larry Sabato. Sabato later admitted his information was second hand.However, seven teammates have stated they do not recall any racist behavior on Allen's part. Four of these have made statements that were released by the Allen campaign. Allen dismissed the claims as "ludicrously false."

Now Wonkette's keen eye spotted this bizzare item from The Land Of Macaca: (we are NOT making this up)

Kate's Christmas Box
December 7, 2006, 10:30AM to 11:15AM
Type: Holiday Events
Location: Great Hopes Plantation

What will Kate’s master put in her Christmas box? Discover the customs and practices of slaves during the holiday season at Great Hopes Plantation. Included in Colonial Williamsburg admission

What would The Mysterious Macaca say? Wonkette puts it this way:

A Very Special George Allen Christmas
Happy Christmas, Slaves!
Nothing says Christmas more than an e-mail titled “Experience the Holiday Traditions of 18th-Century Slaves.”

“Christmas was a particularly difficult time of year for slaves,” says Martin. Christmas was the time when slave families were most likely to be split up. “Anyone can take a lash, but if you’re free, no one can take away your family,” Martin said, describing the harsh reality for slaves.

The title of the program, “Kate’s Christmas Box,” refers to the tradition of giving boxes to servants and slaves at Christmas. This box was not necessarily a gift; Martin says it was more appropriately considered to be a supplement to one’s rations. Many slaves’ boxes, including Kate’s, contained a cut of meat, such as a pig’s tail.

In modern times, the Virginia elite simply put a deer’s head in a black family’s mailbox.

This is, of course, a reference to the "Tales of the South" from The Mysterious Macaca's past.

September 26, 2006
Former Teammate:
George Allen stuffed deer head into black family's mailbox

Senator George Allen is responding to more allegations of racist behavior. The latest come from a former college teammate.

Former teammate Doctor Ken Shelton says, "Allen said he came to Virginia because he wanted to play football in a place where 'blacks knew their place.'"

"He used the N-word on a regular basis back then," said Shelton, who was in Salon.com.

During a hunting outing with Allen and another teammate, Shelton says Allen drove the three to a black neighborhood and "he proceeded to take the doe's head and stuff it into a mailbox."

Bishop Gerald Glenn says he used to see Allen as a Confederate flag waving redneck and has talked to the senator about his perception problem in the African American community...

Thank you, Macaca!

WTF? Nothing else to do in Boise

The New York Times reports

November 23, 2006
Idaho: City Workers Are Fired After a Slow Fast-Food Run on Zambonis
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Two employees of the city ice skating rink in Boise have been fired for making a midnight fast-food run in a pair of Zambonis. An anonymous tipster reported seeing the two ice-resurfacing machines chug through a Burger King drive-through and return to the rink around 12:30 a.m. on Nov. 10. The Zambonis have a top speed of about 5 miles per hour, and were driven 1.5 miles. The drivers, both temporary employees whose names were not released by the Parks and Recreation Department, had to negotiate at least one intersection on their late-night creep from Idaho Ice World. “They were fired immediately,” said the parks department director, Jim Hall. Mr. Hall said the city could charge the employees with operating an unlicensed motor vehicle on a public street.

If...

On Friday, I was importing a stack of CDs into my iPod. The Bernstein Mahler cycle. A separate track caught my eye. The "adagietto" from the 5th. It was recorded at St. Pat's June 8th, 1968, at the funeral Mass for RFK. I was overwhelmed. That eternally long suspension.

Today, reading Jimmy Breslin's piece in the LA Times just makes me very sad. Imagine what was taken from us. There would have been no hostages in Tehran. "The Great Communicator" would have remained deservedly obscure. We would not have propped up Saddam. No Gulf War I. No 9/11. No Gulf War II. No Bush I. No Bush II. Not heaven, but not this, either.

J.

The night Bobby was shot

A screening of the new film on Robert Kennedy's assassination conjures memories of the events 38 years ago.

By Jimmy Breslin
JIMMY BRESLIN writes columns for New York Newsday.

November 20, 2006

A CRYSTAL BROKE in the air with a little sound, the devil snapping his fingers, and now on a whim, a push from nowhere, I told the guy driving me that I wanted to go to Fullerton. There was an ad in the paper for a gun shop. I was here for an election, not guns, but instinct brought me there. This was in the middle of the morning on the day of the California presidential primary all the way back in 1968.

It was a sun-warmed day, and in Fullerton I found a man and wife in a garage running a gun shop. It was a second job for him, the man said; he drove an oil truck as a first job. If he was gone, his wife came out of the kitchen to sell you a good oiled gun.

The guy had all these pistols on a counter. Among them was an Iver Johnson .22. I asked him what he thought they were for. I don't know what he said. I know I said that the only reason you have a handgun is to shoot people in the head.

Later, the night was soft, and the sounds of the people were pleasant as they walked through the beginning of the evening on the lawn of the Ambassador Hotel.

It was the campaign headquarters for Robert F. Kennedy, who was getting close to the Democratic nomination for president.

And that is the last bright thing I can remember from that night. (read the rest here)

El Shrubo and the current mess

Julie Mason blogging in The Houston Chronicle reports:

As we all know from his first presidential campaign, Bush has never been to Vietnam before. Here's a joke in circulation (we assume the originator prefers to go unnamed):

Q: How is Vietnam different from Iraq?

A: Bush had a plan for getting out of Vietnam.

TV Shows We're Glad We Missed - The British Version

Yes, we're glad that we have never seen "Deal or No Deal", "The Dukes of Hazzard", or "Laverne and Shirley." Reality shows ? Never. Bowling? Not a chance. Fox News? GMAFB.

The Guardian reminds us that there are many other shows we are glad we have missed.

Comment
TV sex does not appeal

Channel 4 is under attack for its salacious content, but it seems not to have viewers turning on

Zoe Williams
Wednesday November 15, 2006
The Guardian

Sir Jeremy Isaacs, the founding chief executive of Channel 4, has written a scathing piece about the broadcaster's content - specifically, how much sex there is in it. This could, of course, be sour grapes on Isaacs' part; when Michael Grade succeeded him, he had the nickname "pornographer-in-chief" almost from the get-go. I imagine these jobs are a bit like teaching - even if the kids are calling you "Mr Hopeless Inadequate Worm" behind your back, it still means they like you more than if they're calling you by your actual name. But still, Channel 4 does have a lot of sex on. Singled out for particular mention were The World's Biggest Penis, Designer Vaginas and the much-vaunted but very little talked about Wank Week...

It is true that The World's Biggest Penis netted 2.2 million viewers, which is a fair whack; indeed it was 21% of the audience at that time...

I must confess that I nearly gagged when I read this aside by the author.

you'll forgive me for leaving aside American imports, which can't be divided into "sexual" and "asexual" because they're so good.

I am intrigued by"Wank Week". I would suppose that Fucker Carlson and The O'Reilly Fucktor would be permament guests.

The Compassionate Lawyer

This joke came from a friend down in Yachats.

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop, and he got out to investigate.

He asked one of the men, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have no choice. We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree"

"Bring them along" the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."