Monday, August 28, 2006

favorite joke of the moment

I may have shared this some months ago, but my memory had become rusty due to lack of recitation. Anyway, someone asked me if I could remember it while we were camping in Oregon earlier this month, and I managed to half-ass it, but I resolved to go home and look up the original wording in all it's glory. Here it is:
So theres three doctors enjoying a toddy or two at the local dive.....

The first doctor, wanting to toot his own horn, pipes up.......

"Hey, I got a note from an ex-patient of mine yesterday. Poor bloke, ran his hand through a tablesaw at work a few years ago. Wacked off all five digits on his right hand. In surgery forty two hours, but we got it put back together. I'll be damned if he isn't a concert violist now".

Not to be outdone, the second doctor immediately chimes in......

"Well, I had a patient a couple years back, a gawdawful motorcycle wreck it was. Guy lost his right arm, and broke his leg in fifteen different spots. It was a damned tedious surgery, but my team managed to get it right, and the guy is now playing on the pro-tennis circuit."

Snorting, the third doctor jumps in with distain.........

"Child's play. Hell, in my rural practice we perform such miracles durned near daily. My most memorable surgery, however, was some God damned idiot that tried to ride his horse acrost a train trestle. Christ, all the ambulance brought us was a barely breathing torso and a garbage can full of parts....hell, there was even a cowboy hat and a horse's ass in the mix. But hey, we put the ignorant hick back together, pulled him through, and I'll be a son of a bitch if he didn't actually become the President of the United States."

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